I think I have discovered the why and wherefore of the atrocious bridal to-do list. Five weeks out, my hands are largely free of tasks, as we have all but finished our list (Type-A alert). I've noticed that my newly free hands tend to start wringing themselves.
It's not that I'm nervous about the wedding, per say, or about our marriage. Its that now I have time to think about the vast unknown (what does a wedding feel like when you’re a bride?) and the way our lives will never be the same after we marry (together five years or no). I have time to think about my emotions.
I think this is why favors were created, actually, as a monumental distraction from the truth.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Avis & Vincent's Courthouse Fiesta Wedding
Going towards Fourth of July weekend, I decided there could not be a better wedding to share then this fantastic laid back courthouse wedding followed by a backyard Fiesta. I love the way this wedding is such a great, quirky reflection of the couples values. And, even more important, it's such a great story from this community. So without further ado, Fiesta!
My husband and I live in Decatur, Georgia. We met at the University of Tennessee almost 10 years ago. I am the owner of Avie Designs, a stationery company and my husband is finishing up his master's to become a teacher. We decided to get married near the end of January sitting on our couch at home. When we started talking about how we should do it, we went around and around. You see, I am not one of those women that has been thinking about her wedding since she was 2. I actually never thought I would get married. It just kind of fell in my lap. I knew that I would have trouble with an actual ceremony in front of everyone, wearing a white dress, walking down the aisle. I have no problem with these things, but they just aren't for me.
So, we decided to go down to the courthouse for the actual ceremony and then have a reception at a later date. We only told our immediate families in case they wanted to join us. We didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. So, we had 2 weeks from the day we decided to get married to get all the announcements and invitations done. I wanted to send out the announcements immediately so that everyone would find out from me and not word of mouth. And, being a stationery designer, I had to make them difficult. We decided that our celebration party would be fiesta themed since I am half Puerto Rican. I then decided that the item that would tie everything together visually would be mexican party flags. I hand cut about 80 announcements and then affixed them to paper to create a mailable flag. That is all I did for 2 weeks.
Then came the day we had scheduled to go to the courthouse. It was the most beautiful clear, sunny February day. We went to fill out the paperwork in a office with a sign that read "Marriage and pistol licenses." Don't worry, we didn't get a pistol license. Once we paid our money and swore that our information was correct, we had to go see the judge (since we were not having another ceremony). The line to see the judge was very long, but just as we were settling down in our seats, the judge came out of the little room and asked if anyone wanted the "express lane." I looked around at my family and asked if that was okay with them. They were up for it so we got in the express lane. All we had to do is stand before the judge and say that we wanted to marry each other and that was it. We were done. And the "express lane" bit provided many jokes later. It also turns out that my Mom had planned a little surprise party for us that night where my friends thought they were celebrating my birthday (again) and we had no idea they would be there. It was a double surprise and it was awesome.
When it came to planning our celebration, all I wanted was to have a big party with all my friends and family. So we made it super casual with the Fiesta theme. We are lucky enough that my mother-in-law has a beautiful house that is large enough for 100 people in Tennessee that is also only about 20 minutes from most of my extended family. So the venue was free. We had latin food, latin music, margaritas & sangria. I made about 1,000 party flags that hung in the tent. We did all tissue paper decorations, no flowers. That kept the cost way down. My family made most of the food. Our largest expenses were the tables & chairs that we rented and the tent that we had to rent last minute due to the crazy stormy weather we had that week. We made a photo guest book with polaroids and had a photo booth that we made ourselves with cloth and tissue paper flowers. 
My husband and his brothers are brilliant musicians, so they played for about 45 minutes including a special song preformed by my husband just for me. After that, we had pinatas (that my mom made), limbo, and dancing. We didn't have a DJ, just an ipod and a sound system. My mom made a cake in the shape of a sombrero, which she ruined by falling into 2 days before the party, but never fear, she made another one.
All and all, it was definitely the best week of my life, I would highly recommend a DIY wedding. It allows you and your family and friends to spend time together and have fun together. It was an exhausting week (my brother graduated from college too!) for us all, but we spent so much quality time with each other that we hardly noticed. After all, isn't that the point of a wedding? To get everyone you love in one place and celebrate life? I hope so, because we did just that.
My husband and I live in Decatur, Georgia. We met at the University of Tennessee almost 10 years ago. I am the owner of Avie Designs, a stationery company and my husband is finishing up his master's to become a teacher. We decided to get married near the end of January sitting on our couch at home. When we started talking about how we should do it, we went around and around. You see, I am not one of those women that has been thinking about her wedding since she was 2. I actually never thought I would get married. It just kind of fell in my lap. I knew that I would have trouble with an actual ceremony in front of everyone, wearing a white dress, walking down the aisle. I have no problem with these things, but they just aren't for me.So, we decided to go down to the courthouse for the actual ceremony and then have a reception at a later date. We only told our immediate families in case they wanted to join us. We didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. So, we had 2 weeks from the day we decided to get married to get all the announcements and invitations done. I wanted to send out the announcements immediately so that everyone would find out from me and not word of mouth. And, being a stationery designer, I had to make them difficult. We decided that our celebration party would be fiesta themed since I am half Puerto Rican. I then decided that the item that would tie everything together visually would be mexican party flags. I hand cut about 80 announcements and then affixed them to paper to create a mailable flag. That is all I did for 2 weeks.
Then came the day we had scheduled to go to the courthouse. It was the most beautiful clear, sunny February day. We went to fill out the paperwork in a office with a sign that read "Marriage and pistol licenses." Don't worry, we didn't get a pistol license. Once we paid our money and swore that our information was correct, we had to go see the judge (since we were not having another ceremony). The line to see the judge was very long, but just as we were settling down in our seats, the judge came out of the little room and asked if anyone wanted the "express lane." I looked around at my family and asked if that was okay with them. They were up for it so we got in the express lane. All we had to do is stand before the judge and say that we wanted to marry each other and that was it. We were done. And the "express lane" bit provided many jokes later. It also turns out that my Mom had planned a little surprise party for us that night where my friends thought they were celebrating my birthday (again) and we had no idea they would be there. It was a double surprise and it was awesome.
When it came to planning our celebration, all I wanted was to have a big party with all my friends and family. So we made it super casual with the Fiesta theme. We are lucky enough that my mother-in-law has a beautiful house that is large enough for 100 people in Tennessee that is also only about 20 minutes from most of my extended family. So the venue was free. We had latin food, latin music, margaritas & sangria. I made about 1,000 party flags that hung in the tent. We did all tissue paper decorations, no flowers. That kept the cost way down. My family made most of the food. Our largest expenses were the tables & chairs that we rented and the tent that we had to rent last minute due to the crazy stormy weather we had that week. We made a photo guest book with polaroids and had a photo booth that we made ourselves with cloth and tissue paper flowers. 
My husband and his brothers are brilliant musicians, so they played for about 45 minutes including a special song preformed by my husband just for me. After that, we had pinatas (that my mom made), limbo, and dancing. We didn't have a DJ, just an ipod and a sound system. My mom made a cake in the shape of a sombrero, which she ruined by falling into 2 days before the party, but never fear, she made another one.
All and all, it was definitely the best week of my life, I would highly recommend a DIY wedding. It allows you and your family and friends to spend time together and have fun together. It was an exhausting week (my brother graduated from college too!) for us all, but we spent so much quality time with each other that we hardly noticed. After all, isn't that the point of a wedding? To get everyone you love in one place and celebrate life? I hope so, because we did just that.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Sponsored Post: MagnetStreet Weddings
I'm always thrilled to write a post for long time sponsor MagnetStreet Weddings, in large part because so many of you have piped up to say that you've had such good experiences working with them. As far as I'm concerned, good customer service trumps is hands down the most important thing you can look for in wedding shopping. Though when you add in cute affordable wedding invitations and save the dates, well, you can't loose. Plus, they are running a 20% discount on all pocket invitations through July 7th (code noted in their header) so go check them out!
This time around, I wanted to talk a little bit about MagnetStreet's customizable options. MagnetStreet Weddings has introduced a interactive design tool, so you can customize your Save the Dates and Invitations with your own designs and fonts and colors, see a instant proof, make changes and then order. The really cool part is that playing around with designs and colors can make a huge difference in wedding invitations, allowing them to be painless, affordable, and still really reflect who you and your partner are.
And goodness knows, I'm totally incapable of doing a post on MagnetStreet without showing you my very favorite save the date magnet (which I always say would also be a great invitation for a low key wedding).
We've been talking about what to do with engagement pictures, and you can't loose by making them into little save the date magnets. Every time my mom gets one of these she coos a little bit about how happy the couple looks... and then it's on the fridge for life.
And finally, MagnetStreet Weddings has great little carrier cards that are designed to go with you magnets... which means you are zip, zap done. (And boy doesn't that feel fantastic...)
This time around, I wanted to talk a little bit about MagnetStreet's customizable options. MagnetStreet Weddings has introduced a interactive design tool, so you can customize your Save the Dates and Invitations with your own designs and fonts and colors, see a instant proof, make changes and then order. The really cool part is that playing around with designs and colors can make a huge difference in wedding invitations, allowing them to be painless, affordable, and still really reflect who you and your partner are.
And goodness knows, I'm totally incapable of doing a post on MagnetStreet without showing you my very favorite save the date magnet (which I always say would also be a great invitation for a low key wedding). 
We've been talking about what to do with engagement pictures, and you can't loose by making them into little save the date magnets. Every time my mom gets one of these she coos a little bit about how happy the couple looks... and then it's on the fridge for life.
And finally, MagnetStreet Weddings has great little carrier cards that are designed to go with you magnets... which means you are zip, zap done. (And boy doesn't that feel fantastic...)
Monday, June 29, 2009
Things To Wear On Your Head When You Wed: The Simple Edition
The one time I was a flower girl (something I had aspired to be since I realized you could get such a job) I was a little disappointed that A) My dress was not spin-ny B) They gave me flowers in a stupid basket and not a gorgeous big-girl bouquet and C) That I didn't get to wear flowers in my hair. So the next day, when I got dressed for church, I *insisted* that my mom French braid in all of my flower girl blooms into my hair.
But this time, I'm in charge*. So blush Dahlias it will be. It may not be fabulous and feathery, but I suspect no one will be *too* focused on my hair. (And actually, it will be fabulous).
*And you better believe that my dress will be spin-ny and my flowers will not be in a stupid basket.
Photo from here
Sponsored Post: Turtle Love Committee's Environmentally Friendly Rings
I continue to be thrilled to have Turtle Love Committee as a sponsor of this site, because their values are so totally aligned with mine, and each new project that they dream up is better than the last. Currently, they are working to launch a line of eco-friendly and people-friendly jewelry (called EcoTurtle, heeeee!) that is affordable and beautiful. Like this wedding ring below, which I want to tear out of the screen, I love it so much:
Even if you don't need rings, bookmark Turtle Love Committee, or keep it in mind - they're soon to unveil a collection of non-bridal jewelry. All in line with the idea of celebrating the important stuff, cutting out the stuff that doesn't matter, and making the world a better place.
So really, seriously, what are you waiting for? Go, go, go, go, go!
Turtle Love Committee is, in their own words, trying to get people to think about how to spend money on things that matter, which is something I couldn't agree with more. Wedding rings matter (for lots of people), and Turtle Love is convinced that that does not mean they need to be expensive. And they shouldn't matter just because they were expensive (if they were). Turtle Love Committee has an awesome selection of alternative engagement and wedding rings that don't cost more than $250. They're classic and gorgeous and exciting - and they're just not diamonds. 
Turtle Love Committee has recently highlighted the rings in its collection that are made in ways that are particularly environment- or people-friendly, and given a description of why and how they are. Each of these rings bears the "EcoTurtle" logo, and you can check out the eco-rings here.
But, it gets better, Turtle Love Committee has gone a step further and initiated a giving program with Cultivating Community. Cultivating Community is a non-profit based in Portland, Maine (TLC's base) that provides empowerment programs for youth, food for the hungry, and advocates for the environment around food issues. You can read about Cultivating Community here and at www.CultivatingCommunity.com. A whole 5% of Turtle Love Committee's sales (not profits) are contributed to Cultivating Community, which is a freaking big deal!
Even if you don't need rings, bookmark Turtle Love Committee, or keep it in mind - they're soon to unveil a collection of non-bridal jewelry. All in line with the idea of celebrating the important stuff, cutting out the stuff that doesn't matter, and making the world a better place.So really, seriously, what are you waiting for? Go, go, go, go, go!
Sunday, June 28, 2009
*Our* Photographers
So I've never come out and said this, but about a year ago now, right after we'd booked our venue, the very first wedding elves* we booked were Heather & Jon from One Love Photo. I can give you a million reasons as to why: that I cared about photos from the bottom of my heart, their amazing work, their use of multiple kinds of cameras, or the way Heather was a straight shooter and kept saying, "I could do that, but I just don't like to rip people off." I could tell you how we were lucky booking them when we did, and how we can't possibly pay them what they are worth.But really, why bother? This picture says it all.
*We only have two sets of wedding elves, in the end: photographers and caterers. The rest is friends and family, or really, love-love-love.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Buy This Dress!
Um. Hi! I've been a tad sick today, and I might or might not have been out late last night drinking whiskey and listening to David play a little jukebox Michael Jackson tribute, so slow posting. Anyway, I'm popping my head up to say that one of you NEEDS TO BUY THIS WEDDING DRESS ALREADY. For serious. It's $335, and it's killer. And then you'll need to send me pictures. Go, go, go, go, go.Found via the always excellent etsy wedding.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Liz and Alex's CSA Barn-Dance Board-Game Wedding
It's funny we all (myself totally included) have become a teensy bit obsessed with barn weddings, because barns are pretty and rustic, not because we have any real attachments to barns. Well, not Liz and Alex. Liz and Alex got married in a barn on the farmland of the CSA that they belong to (I knnnnooooowwwww), so to say that their wedding was grounded, was rooted in their values, well, it would be a little bit punny and a whole lot true. With that, I'll let Liz take it away:
Where your wedding was held: Our wedding and reception was held at the Byron Colby Barn in Grayslake, Illinois. Grayslake is a far north suburb of Chicago. The Byron Colby Barn was built in the late 1800s as a dairy barn. In the mid 1990s the Barn was taken down beam by beam and was rebuilt in a conservation community known as Prairie Crossing in Grayslake, Illinois.
Before we decided on the Barn we started a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) and our CSA actually has farmland in Prairie Crossing. We fell in love with the Barn because it had character, it was indoors (crucial during the winter!) and we were able to hold the ceremony and the reception at the same place, which is surprisingly (for me) not common.
What made your wedding creative? Alex and I did not want to break tradition too much in our wedding but we also knew that certain traditional aspects of weddings were just not us. We had a nonreligious ceremony that a friend of ours officiated. The ceremony was incredibly important to us, especially because we did not have guidelines that we had to follow. In the end our ceremony took on a traditional feel with processional in, two readings, exchanging of vows and rings and lighting of a unity candle - but we added personal touches throughout.
Both of my parents escorted me in, one of our readings was “It’s You I Like” by Mr. Rogers, our vows were carefully selected, although not self-written and we extended our unity candle to our friends and family. We also kept the music in the ceremony upbeat because I did not want to sob, since I cry at everything, while walking down the aisle. Instead, I sobbed to “Here Comes the Sun” by the Beatles.
We wanted our reception to be laid back and relaxing. We had a buffet line of awesome food from a great, local catering company. The cupcakes and cake were to die for; in fact people still talk about the food to this day!
After dinner, we had the traditional first dance and parent dances but then we turned the iPod over to our friends. On the RSVP cards people suggested songs for the reception, which we guaranteed would make it onto the iPod and along with a lot of classics. We weren’t fussy about what songs got played when so everyone took a turn deejaying when songs they wanted to hear weren’t getting played. 
Alex and I also provided a handful of board games for people to play because sometimes when you’re at a wedding, you don’t want to dance but you don’t want to leave and you feel bad for just sitting around. We had games in the balcony of the barn and dancing on the main level.
What made your wedding thrifty? Our wedding was thrifty because we weren’t unreasonable in our expectations and we knew what was important to us. Almost everything was DIYed and we had local wedding fairies that were not dependent on the wedding industry for their livelihood. Alex drew the robots (yes, robots) for our Save the Dates and designed our wedding invitations, the seating cards (also with robots), the programs, the tags for the root beer and the Thank Yous (again, robots here too!). We goccoed almost everything and what we didn’t gocco, we printed on our printer. We picked our own music, ate delicious food, selected our own beer and wine, drove to the wedding in my Dad’s truck and got a ride back in the hotel shuttle. We made use of our skills and resources and kept everything as sane and simple as possible.
What made your wedding sane? My husband. We planned our wedding in 8 months and with less than 4 months to go I was working 50 to 60+ hours per week and I was "lucky" to be able to get the day before our wedding off. My husband made almost all of the vendor calls and we shared in the responsibility of DIYing items things. He also served as the voice of reason and helped keep our wedding practical. On the day of the wedding he was an awesome director, telling everyone what needed to happen and where things needed to go. Our wedding really felt like a team effort since it was our wedding and not my wedding. 
Congratulations to you both. May you remember the joy of spinning in each others arms on your wedding day for the rest of your long and happy lives together.
Where your wedding was held: Our wedding and reception was held at the Byron Colby Barn in Grayslake, Illinois. Grayslake is a far north suburb of Chicago. The Byron Colby Barn was built in the late 1800s as a dairy barn. In the mid 1990s the Barn was taken down beam by beam and was rebuilt in a conservation community known as Prairie Crossing in Grayslake, Illinois.
Before we decided on the Barn we started a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) and our CSA actually has farmland in Prairie Crossing. We fell in love with the Barn because it had character, it was indoors (crucial during the winter!) and we were able to hold the ceremony and the reception at the same place, which is surprisingly (for me) not common.
What made your wedding creative? Alex and I did not want to break tradition too much in our wedding but we also knew that certain traditional aspects of weddings were just not us. We had a nonreligious ceremony that a friend of ours officiated. The ceremony was incredibly important to us, especially because we did not have guidelines that we had to follow. In the end our ceremony took on a traditional feel with processional in, two readings, exchanging of vows and rings and lighting of a unity candle - but we added personal touches throughout.
Both of my parents escorted me in, one of our readings was “It’s You I Like” by Mr. Rogers, our vows were carefully selected, although not self-written and we extended our unity candle to our friends and family. We also kept the music in the ceremony upbeat because I did not want to sob, since I cry at everything, while walking down the aisle. Instead, I sobbed to “Here Comes the Sun” by the Beatles.
We wanted our reception to be laid back and relaxing. We had a buffet line of awesome food from a great, local catering company. The cupcakes and cake were to die for; in fact people still talk about the food to this day!
After dinner, we had the traditional first dance and parent dances but then we turned the iPod over to our friends. On the RSVP cards people suggested songs for the reception, which we guaranteed would make it onto the iPod and along with a lot of classics. We weren’t fussy about what songs got played when so everyone took a turn deejaying when songs they wanted to hear weren’t getting played. 
Alex and I also provided a handful of board games for people to play because sometimes when you’re at a wedding, you don’t want to dance but you don’t want to leave and you feel bad for just sitting around. We had games in the balcony of the barn and dancing on the main level.
What made your wedding thrifty? Our wedding was thrifty because we weren’t unreasonable in our expectations and we knew what was important to us. Almost everything was DIYed and we had local wedding fairies that were not dependent on the wedding industry for their livelihood. Alex drew the robots (yes, robots) for our Save the Dates and designed our wedding invitations, the seating cards (also with robots), the programs, the tags for the root beer and the Thank Yous (again, robots here too!). We goccoed almost everything and what we didn’t gocco, we printed on our printer. We picked our own music, ate delicious food, selected our own beer and wine, drove to the wedding in my Dad’s truck and got a ride back in the hotel shuttle. We made use of our skills and resources and kept everything as sane and simple as possible.
What made your wedding sane? My husband. We planned our wedding in 8 months and with less than 4 months to go I was working 50 to 60+ hours per week and I was "lucky" to be able to get the day before our wedding off. My husband made almost all of the vendor calls and we shared in the responsibility of DIYing items things. He also served as the voice of reason and helped keep our wedding practical. On the day of the wedding he was an awesome director, telling everyone what needed to happen and where things needed to go. Our wedding really felt like a team effort since it was our wedding and not my wedding. 
Congratulations to you both. May you remember the joy of spinning in each others arms on your wedding day for the rest of your long and happy lives together.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Your Wedding, Your Budget
Ok, off you go. Time to read East Side's little rant about how judging people because you think they spent too much on their wedding is just as bad as judging them because you think they spent too little. She says exactly what I think, and clearly. Best post I've read quite awhile.
People often take the title of this blog (which was, for the record, a happy accident,* not a manifesto) as some sort of statement that you have to have a "budget" wedding (whatever that means) or else. But your budget is different from my budget. It's based on a million factors: what you make, what you have saved, what your jobs are, if your family is contributing, how many people you're inviting, your free time, your location, your and your family's health, and just what you feel like spending, all of which are NO ONE ELSE'S BUSINESS. Period.
Because here is what this blog is really about: being grounded, being sensible, being thoughtful. And you cannot put a price tag on that.
Now GO. East Side says it better than I do.
*David had a political blog called Practical Progress. And I was starting to think much of the wedding stuff I had access to was capital C Crazy.
People often take the title of this blog (which was, for the record, a happy accident,* not a manifesto) as some sort of statement that you have to have a "budget" wedding (whatever that means) or else. But your budget is different from my budget. It's based on a million factors: what you make, what you have saved, what your jobs are, if your family is contributing, how many people you're inviting, your free time, your location, your and your family's health, and just what you feel like spending, all of which are NO ONE ELSE'S BUSINESS. Period.
Because here is what this blog is really about: being grounded, being sensible, being thoughtful. And you cannot put a price tag on that.
Now GO. East Side says it better than I do.
*David had a political blog called Practical Progress. And I was starting to think much of the wedding stuff I had access to was capital C Crazy.
Love & Choice & Power
Long time reader Erica sent me an email with these words:
A Practical Wedding has helped me to keep my sister sane as she is planning her wedding. I feel like every wedding conversation I have with her starts with her seriously stressing over something silly like whether it's okay for her fiance to have a different number of groomsmen than she has bridesmaids, and ends with me telling her that there are no rules she needs to follow in planning her wedding. She can do whatever she wants.
This past weekend, my boyfriend and I got engaged. Then the barrage of questions started and the input on how we should do things began. Instead of stressing me out, they just rolled right off of my back. I know the questions and demands will only get worse, and not everyone will be happy with the non-traditional choices we make for our wedding, but now that I know there is a whole army of people out there who agree with me, and support our right to do things our way, it's not so hard to take other people's unhappiness with our decisions.
Which brings motivated me to get down on paper something I've been wanting to say about wedding planning for a long time.
First of all, lets not kid ourselves, for most of us wedding planning can be tough. There are days when nothing seems right, when everyone has an opinion, when life events make this party you are planning seem so small, when you can't figure out how to afford things, when vendors are flat out horrible to you. There will be those days. And those days are normal.
But for me, in the end, wedding planning has turned out to be all about making choices. It's about claiming the life that you want in the middle of a world that is telling you about the life that you should have. Let me say this loud and clear: No one can tell you how to live, and you pick the life you want. A marriage is, in many ways, the one of the few times in our lives when we make a big conscious decision about who we are, and what we want, and who we love. And, as much as people view love as magic, love and choice all mixed up together are a powerful powerful brew, and people are scared by it.
So they'll tell you that you need to wear a big poufy dress, or have a steak dinner, or throw a garter, and and and and and. But you don't. And you shouldn't trust people who say you need X to have a wedding, just like you shouldn't trust people who say you can't have X to have a wedding. You shouldn't trust people who tell you how much or how little you need to spend, or what you need to wear, or the vows you need to make.
If I've learned one thing planning this wedding, its this: The times that you say 'NO, that is not who we are, that is not what we want' will be vastly overpowered by the times you say 'YES YES YES, this is who we are, this is what we want, this is how we live'.
Be true to yourself, fearlessly claim the life you want. That's it. That's all. That's the solution to this puzzle.
A Practical Wedding has helped me to keep my sister sane as she is planning her wedding. I feel like every wedding conversation I have with her starts with her seriously stressing over something silly like whether it's okay for her fiance to have a different number of groomsmen than she has bridesmaids, and ends with me telling her that there are no rules she needs to follow in planning her wedding. She can do whatever she wants.
This past weekend, my boyfriend and I got engaged. Then the barrage of questions started and the input on how we should do things began. Instead of stressing me out, they just rolled right off of my back. I know the questions and demands will only get worse, and not everyone will be happy with the non-traditional choices we make for our wedding, but now that I know there is a whole army of people out there who agree with me, and support our right to do things our way, it's not so hard to take other people's unhappiness with our decisions.
Which brings motivated me to get down on paper something I've been wanting to say about wedding planning for a long time.
First of all, lets not kid ourselves, for most of us wedding planning can be tough. There are days when nothing seems right, when everyone has an opinion, when life events make this party you are planning seem so small, when you can't figure out how to afford things, when vendors are flat out horrible to you. There will be those days. And those days are normal.
But for me, in the end, wedding planning has turned out to be all about making choices. It's about claiming the life that you want in the middle of a world that is telling you about the life that you should have. Let me say this loud and clear: No one can tell you how to live, and you pick the life you want. A marriage is, in many ways, the one of the few times in our lives when we make a big conscious decision about who we are, and what we want, and who we love. And, as much as people view love as magic, love and choice all mixed up together are a powerful powerful brew, and people are scared by it.
So they'll tell you that you need to wear a big poufy dress, or have a steak dinner, or throw a garter, and and and and and. But you don't. And you shouldn't trust people who say you need X to have a wedding, just like you shouldn't trust people who say you can't have X to have a wedding. You shouldn't trust people who tell you how much or how little you need to spend, or what you need to wear, or the vows you need to make.
If I've learned one thing planning this wedding, its this: The times that you say 'NO, that is not who we are, that is not what we want' will be vastly overpowered by the times you say 'YES YES YES, this is who we are, this is what we want, this is how we live'.
Be true to yourself, fearlessly claim the life you want. That's it. That's all. That's the solution to this puzzle.
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