Since minute one of wedding planning I've always felt a bit weird about the idea of vendors. I was envious of those couples who had "vendor free weddings." That is until David pointed out that I was, after all, a practical person, so he had no idea why I was fantasying about feeding 125 people ourselves. Lately, I've figured out my issue is really around the word "vendor." I mean, what are we planning? A county fair? Please. I have, however, valued supporting independent artists since I was a little girl. I grew up around a artist community, so I know what it's like to live as a independent artisan (hard), and how it feels to buy something handcrafted and know you supported the artist (great). So! I'm proposing a terminology shift. Out with the vendors, in with the helpful wedding artists (or innovative wedding elves? Wedding creatives?)
I'm lucky to be exposed to some of the cooler wedding artisans around, thanks to both this blog and living in the Bay Area. I'm featuring some awesome artists this week, and invite you to share you recommendations in the comments. On that note, I'd like to share a few things I've learned so far about choosing wedding artists:
- Don't put money into what makes you crazy. If there is a aspect of the wedding industry that drives you totally mad (for me, wedding gowns and engagement rings), don't put money into it. Find an alternative way to spend your money. The WIC is only as huge as it is because of all the cash in it's pockets.
- Find vendors (achem, artists) that want to work with couples like you. It's going to make you nuts to have a photographer that really wants the garter shot, if you are not garter tossing kind of girl. Save yourself the headache and find someone who likes you both for who you are. Luckily some vendors are willing to travel for reasonable rates, so if you can't find good people in your area, you have options!
- Prioritize. You probably can't have all the amazing vendors you want. And you know what? That's ok. That's going to make you appreciate the people you do have working on your wedding that much more. If you really love paper goods, spring for cool invitations. If you love photography, find a great photographer. Don't splurge on things just because it's what you are supposed to spend money on, if it is not what you are into.
- Don't limit yourself to artists that advertise as doing work for weddings. If you love a photographer, ask them if they would be willing to work on your wedding (and then explain that you are a SANE bride!) And always, always let your friends and families volunteer their skills.
- And my best tip is this: You know you have found someone you want to work with when you feel like "We can't possibly afford to pay this person what they are worth," or "If I had a extra $1000 to spare I would shove it in their pocket right now, because they are that awesome." If you feeling ripped off by a vendor, that is a red flag. This doesn't mean the vendor is a bad person, but it's your subconscious piping up to say that they are not right for you.
Photo via Time.com (also, check out their article about thrifty weddings).
11 comments:
1. make sure to ALWAYS see their work firsthand- don't just trust reviews/friends etc! Everyone has different taste!
2. Trust your first instincts!
We were going to hire a dj to play when the band wasn't playing (we are have some of our fav musicians play!!!) and the one we thought we wanted 1. wouldn't budge on his price and 2. was kind of pushy. We saw him in action last weekend and ewwww! I can't believe he commands that kind of money!!!! He was HORRIBLE! (thank goodness we didn't sign a contract yet!) instead we are having our two friends dj!
great advice meg. yes "vendors" is a wee bit... blah. sugar fairy (for bakers) works for me.
One thing I have learned, and continue to learn, is negotiate! When we met our photographer, I loved his work, but he was about $2500 over our budget. I explained this him, without being too specific, and then told him the number that we could afford, and asked what he could do for that. He was totally willing to work with us, which was awesome! I have taken that approach with our dj as well, and talked them down a couple hundred dollars. You never know until you ask, and the worst they can say is "no."
Find elves who have worked together and get along, so that if someone needs help, they have a whole team ready for them. One thing you can do is if a friend or family member is going to be one of the elves, see if he/she knows anyone else they trust to be an elf too. My mother made the wedding cake for her coworkers' low-key wedding, they asked her if she knew of any photographers, and I ended up shooting the wedding. Fun was had by all, it was very much a family affair, and Mum and I were able to help each other out with our specific tasks.
Ah yes, our dj is one of those wedding elves who I feel we are under-paying. We interviewed him and another DJ, who charged twice as much, and I expected that the other DJ would be a better choice. But alas, the least expensive dj was the one we clicked with the best and now we feel like his services are a steal!
The best piece of advice for brides-to-be searching for good wedding elves is probably not what you want to hear ... it involves engaging in one of the WIC's prime machines ... logon to the knot bulletin boards and ask the ladies in your local area who they would recommend and what they're paying. Before booking anyone, vett them by posting their name/company on the board and see what people have to say. It has really paid off for us and it's a great way to promote those elves that you love working with, too.
Great tips! Flowers make me crazy so I'm constantly looking for the centerpiece alternative. I'm not the type of person to hand over $1000 to something that I don't like and the WIC insists I have to make my whenever it shall be wedding a wedding.
I'm so happy to have found your blog - someone who is shedding the light on WIC/vendors
I really like that last piece of advice, to pay attention not so much to *how much* youre spending, but on who and for what. If you pick the right person for the right thing it will actually be a *joy* to fork over gobs of cash -- especially if they are struggling artists, just starting out, or insanely gifted.
I just have to say that out of the all the wedding blogs I read (and dang, I subscribe to a LOT!) yours is the only one that doesn't make me feel anxious in my tummy. Perhaps I need to UNsubscribe to a few of the others. But thanks for being practical and lovely!
great post! I agree that "vendor" seems cold and weird and impersonal (although maybe still better than the faire term of "monger", heh heh). elves it is!
some other tips on dealing with sane vendors - definitely negotiate (I would much rather a couple say, "this is our budget, can you work within it?" and me try to come up with some options, or let them know gently that I can't go that low, then to just not ever be asked); just make sure you do it politely and reasonably. i.e., if a photographer lists their starting price at $3K, don't ask them to work for $1K. feel free to explore trade options if you have a skill you can trade without going crazy after the wedding.
I always emphasize choosing 2-3 priorities to splurge on (even if your "splurge" is way different from someone else's splurge - I just mean that the biggest places your money and energy will be going should be the things that matter most to you), whether it's food, location, dress, photography, music, honeymoon, or mortgage payment :)
and please be sure to follow up with your potential "elves" once you've met with or spoken with them, to tell them if you are booking someone else. it's just common courtesy.
Good points all Jessamyn! From the mouth of a wedding elf to our ears.
Thanks for the title switch. I have always hated being called a vendor. I have always loved being called an artist, elf or fairy!!!
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