The Plastic Ring Romp

I walked into my local card store the other day only to be met by a wall of blingy fake engagement rings. What on earth are they doing selling fake engagement rings? Yes, David almost proposed to me with a tacky fake engagement ring - for more hilarity, and to let me pick the real ring myself - but surely the fake engagement ring can't be a common proposal strategy? Or maybe America is more hilarious then I thought? Anyway. Of course the first thing that flashed across my mind was "I must try one on, immediately."

So, there I was, in the card store, slipping a fake engagement ring the size of a small softball on my hand. "AHHH!" I said (perhaps a little loudly) and the sales lady whipped around, eyebrows raised. "Oh," I said, giggling apologetically, "It's just that these rings are crazy funny! I mean look at the size? Silly, right?"

Judging from her reaction, I'm guessing that the rings are not humorous.
So, of course, I bought it.

A Response To The New York Times Botox & Bridesmaids

Quite a number of people have sent me the New York Times article last week about the new breed of demanding brides – brides that demand botox, teeth whitening, and identical spray tans from their bridesmaids. Thank you all. It’s an interesting read. But, my response to this article might not be quite what everyone is expecting.

Here is the deal: I actually do not think that women are this crazy. Yes, yes, of course, there are some demanding Upper East Side women who demand botox of their bridesmaids, but for goodness sake, these people probably make their doormen walk their dogs. And as much as I love the New York Times, they know how to write shocking copy and to spin weird New York occurrences into trends taking the nation by storm. Everyone has a story about a bride who made all her bridesmaids wear horrible poofy orange dresses that cost a thousand dollars, and then screamed at them for the whole wedding – those women are out there. But there is something else that is out there too, and that is the ever-growing Bridezilla myth that stalks the land.

I’ve gone on record as saying I hate the word Bridezilla, and I’m going to do it again. The term Bridezilla is an offensive, anti-feminist, throwback. I think that as weddings have grown ever more elaborate, self-centered, and out of control, we’ve developed the myth of the Bridezilla to dump the problem on. Brides are not dashing about behaving like nincompoops because they are unstable and narcissistic, as a rule. Brides are dashing about in a frenzy because the ever bigger empire of weddings is stressing people out, and giving people a new impossible target to try to hit. How can you skip the aisle runner and the ornate table arrangements (and the perfectly botoxed skin) if you feel like everyone is going to judge you on it? Women feel like now they not only have to have the perfect job, and the perfect fiancé, they have to have the perfect wedding.

So – my attack on this problem has been two fold. One, I realized really quickly that I needed to be really vague when people asked me about my wedding. The minute I’m introduced as the fiancé, people turn to me and say “Oh, when is the big DAY? How is the planning? Are you stressed out?” The answer is “It’s next year, it’s going really well, and no I’m fine. Can I have a drink?” And two, I started this website, to try to perpetuate healthier wedding goals for myself. A few months later, it turns out I’m not alone. Thank you all for helping me to feel so whole-heartedly that most people planning weddings are sane and delightful.

As for the New York Times, now that they’ve found all the women in the country who are botoxing their bridesmaids, perhaps they should find all the women in the country who are working full time, planning a lovely low-stress wedding, and involving their partners in the planning? I suspect you’ll find there are more of us then them.

San Francisco Budget Wedding Ideas

I have lots of ideas for San Francisco weddings on a budget, and, well, I'm only having one wedding. So, it occurred to me that I could *share* my bright ideas, and then maybe, if I'm very lucky, someone will steal my idea, implement it beautifully, and then send me the pictures. Deal? Deal!

I have two ideas that I've been dreaming about. Both of them involve a small personal ceremony, a reception for 50-60 people, quite a bit of wine, and between $6,000-$7,000 dollars for the whole shebang (in San Francisco dollars, that's something of a steal).

Idea #1
Have a small personal ceremony on telegraph hill. You could get married right by Coit Tower, or in San Francisco's hidden wonderland - the Filbert Street Steps.
That evening, around 8pm, have a small cocktail reception at my favorite wine bar in the city - Hotel Biron. It's dark, moody, and sophisticated all at once. Last time we were there we discovered you could rent it out for the whole evening for $5,000, and that includes high quality wine and tasting plates. Mmmm... if you do this, you should invite me.
Wear a sophisticated cocktail dress, and of course, killer shoes.

Idea #2
Have a small personal ceremony in the most beautiful building in San Francisco - City Hall.
Then at 5pm, rent out one of my favorite cafes in the city, Nook, on Nob Hill. Cable cars will go by both windows of the restaurant, and the sun, or fog, will stream through the leafy trees. You'll serve simple appetizers and sandwiches, wine, and good coffee.
Wear a outfit reminiscent of a 1940's wedding suit, a feather fascinator in your hair, and killer shoes, natch.

Photos: Filbert Street Steps via Flickr, Hotel Biron via, City Hall via Flickr, Nook via Yelp, and outfit by the talented Emily at Emily Style.

Wedding Polaroid Love

I got Jenifer Altman's book For The Love of Light: A Tribute To the Art of Polaroid today. It was such a wonderful bit of beauty flitting across my desk. Another delightful book from a talented blogger, hooray! Anyway, it's official, we have to have some Polaroids taken at the wedding (even though they are, sadly, about to disappear.)

Photo by Aubrey Trinnaman via {Frolic!}

Save The Date - Family Photos?

We've had the idea for our wedding invitations since more or less the second that we got engaged (I will share more about them one day) and thanks to David's graphic design skills we've had them actually designed on paper for a month now. The thing is, the paper goods that we should have designed first were, um, the Save The Dates. So I'm starting to get cracking on ideas.

These two invitations using old family pictures and screen printing/ custom stamping have really captured my imagination.
This one was by Jordon, of Oh Happy Day.
And this one is by Liz of Linda & Harriett, via {Frolic!}

I'm now pondering what we could do with old family wedding photos, custom stamps, and a picture of us. I love the idea of using a invite to tie us to family history and tradition. I'll keep you posted at this idea develops...

You should also check out this great idea for using family photos to create a guest book on the new blog {cypress and oak}.

Submitting Your Practical Wedding

So, wedding season is upon us, and I know that lots and lots of readers are making a dash down the aisle this summer. Once you get back from your honeymoons, or just relax after all the excitement, I would love if you would consider submitting your wedding to be featured on this blog.

How do you know if your wedding is practical? Well, first off, if you read and enjoy this blog, it probably is. I have said it before, and I will say it again, there are no specific budget limitations that qualify you for having a practical wedding. Budgets are all relative, depending on where you live, how many guests you have, and what kind of resources you have, and the last thing I want is to give brides some other benchmark to live up to. Remember: the ideal* of a practical wedding is one that doesn't make you broke, and doesn't stress you out. Enough said.

To submit your wedding, email me (meg at apracticalwedding dot com):

• 10-15(ish) pictures of your wedding
• Your first names
• Where your wedding was held
• What made your wedding creative
• What made your wedding thrifty (whatever that meant for you)
  
• What made your wedding sane
  
• If you have more of your wedding pictures online, and you'd like to share them, email me the link

I can't share every wedding that's submitted to me, but I love reading about every single one. I can't wait to see what kinds of weddings you are planning.

*Note: this is just a ideal. Obviously all weddings stress you out a little bit, and make you a little broke. But, they are good goals to keep in mind, no?

Vintage Wedding Dress Inspiration

So, real life has been a little exhausting of late, which means that my pithiness and sass are running a little low. So, I thought I'd share with you one of the things that are inspiring me right now. These dresses, from Priscilla's of Boston, are not the most affordable, but it's the styling that I love, and the inspiration is free. I'm loving their simple vintage feel. (And if you want to cheer my weekend, leave me something that's inspiring you in the comments.)



Thanks to C(oi)n:Purse for the heads up.

Simple Huppah Inspiration

I've been meaning to write a post about huppah inspiration, and I've finally gathered the pictures to do it! Hooray! Most huppahs (huppot, really, in the plural) these days are very decorated, and I wanted to pull together some pictures of simple, graceful, lovely huppahs.

For all of you non-Jews out there, a huppah is one of the key elements of a Jewish wedding. It's not just a pretty wedding canopy, it represents (among other things) the home of the newlyweds, open on the sides to the couples community, family, and freinds. In it's original form, a huppah was a prayer shawl held up by four poles, each supported by a friend or loved one. It's most traditional for a Jewish wedding to take place outside, with just the huppah and the sky as a covering.
One of the first things David and I decided about the wedding is that we wanted a simple, traditional huppah. For us, this canopy serves as a religious symbol, and we wanted it to be made of a prayer shawl.
Our wedding is going to be outside, and we knew we wanted a natural look, and this photo from Belathee Photography set my little heart on fire. We have to figure out how to get long sapling branches to make our huppah!
Now we just have to decide if we want a free standing huppah (more practical) or a hand held huppah. I love the image of the canopy being carried down the aisle by the wedding party, which is making me lean towards handheld.
Pictures from: Twin Lens Studio, Martha Stewart Weddings, Belathee Photography, Marla Aufmuth via Snippet and Ink, and Jocelyn Filley.

Beck and Margaux's Quasi-nuptuals

I know I've been saying "blah, blah, blah Our Labor of Love Photography" of late, but I can not help myself. They shoot such amazing weddings. And how could I not share this with you. The wedding took place at Union Station in LA, the very place I would want to have a luxe wedding, if I were having one. History, style, urban chic, all rolled into one.
Beck & Margaux sent this description out in their invitations:
"after hours of rhetorical wrangling and wrestling, we remain uncomfortable with nearly all of the language commonly used to describe these kind of events. none of the usual choices accurately describe our relationship as we imagine it. 'marriage' suggests a state-sanctioned institution (and it makes margaux feel extremely queasy). 'commitment ceremony' has become nearly as institutional in tone (and it makes beck think of sterile medical facilities). we cannot say that we are simply 'celebrating our love,' since we intend this event to create something as much as it describes something already existing. So, in the absence of any acceptable language, we chose simply to call this event 'the twenty-first day of the month,' a title which, as luck would have it, also marks the anniversary of our first date."
And then in the middle of the party they announced that, they had gotten married after all!
Hooray! And Hooray for California!
Plus, there were hula hoops! Ahhh!!!
I'm only showing you a few pictures, because you need to go check out the whole story here.

Contest Ends Tonight

Whew! Well, color me overwhelmed by your response to the why I'm a practical bride contest. I'm still open to practical groom entries, but it's looking like practical grooms don't read my little blog. (small sigh). You've got the rest of today to enter. Hint: short and sweet will probably take the cake. I'll post the winners next week. Good luck. Now go get sassy.

(Update: 114 comments? Goodness! Yay Team Practical.)

Wedding Awesomeness Elsewhere: The Cake Solution

Sometimes you discover a new blog, and the day brightens. Well, today is that kind of day. I bring you Lefthanded-Rightminded and the wedding cake solution:

Problem: wedding cake

Every bride-to-be says these words: "Groom-to-be and I tasted our wedding cake last week and it is the best cake we've ever had." When I was a child and thought like a child, I took the happy couple at their word. Now that I am an adult, I realize that wedding cake is actually the worst cake in the world. While the bride and groom taste freshly baked mini cakes, wedding cake is actually baked days before the wedding, and it is made in bulk. Anyone who has ever tried to turn spaghetti for four into spaghetti for forty knows that a multiplied recipe never tastes as good as the original, even when the math is done correctly.

Solution: Leighton's shawarma cake

Since the best cake in the world is obviously Pillsbury's Moist Supreme Funfetti cake with Betty Crocker's Rainbow Chip frosting, but since it would look sloppy to have a table at the reception covered in homemade cakes, I have decided that the ideal way to serve this to a large crowd would be in the style of the shawarma: bake twenty Funfetti cakes, pile them on a vertical spit, ice the tower of cakes, and then hire someone with a machete to shave off slices.

When this takes off, I would like you to remember where you first read about it.

Now go enjoy her blog.
Thanks Lauren for the tip. Photo via Flickr.

The Goal (Neatly Illustrated)

It's strange how weddings have the tendency to bring out the best and the worst in people. We all know about the best: the joy, the generosity, and the love. But I've found out that, at least for me, weddings can sometimes bring out the worst, even if it's in a small quiet way. How many times have you looked at pictures of a big luxe wedding and felt a nagging bit of jealousy? Why can't you afford those shoes or that dress, or that photo booth? How many times has your budget made you feel isolated or sad because it's not as big and fabulous as so-and-so's? And that's not even mentioning the wonderful stress induced behavior that wedding planning brings out in each of us.

But, what I really want to talk about is the competitiveness that weddings can bring out in even the sanest of brides. When I started this blog I cited Ariel's "Your Wedding Is Not A Contest" post as some of the best wedding advice I'd heard. Now 168 (!) wedding posts later, I think this is even better advice. Those of us who are trying to plan a wedding our own way spend so much time and energy fighting conventions and the wedding industry, that it's only natural that our defenses go up. "I'm having the greenest wedding ever!" we say. "My wedding is going to be the most amazing tiny budget wedding of all time," or "Everything about my wedding is going to buck tradition."

While all these goals are worth being proud of, sometimes we need to take a step back, and realize that's not the point. As awesome as our line-item budget skills are, the point isn't coming in 20% below the budget. The point isn't even to make our wedding totally unique and personal. Nope, the point is to plan a wedding that's the best wedding for us. The point is to find a good balance between not going broke and staying sane.

The real point is to end up married. And it's good to remember that we all have the same goal.

So next time you catch yourself thinking, "Our wedding is going to be totally unique!" or "Our wedding is going to be the thriftiest wedding ever." Stop, and think, "Hey, at the end of my wedding, I'm going to end up married!"

Now if I can only stop my wedding related guilt (but that's another post).

Photo via Our Labor Of Love.

Meighan & Seth's Fort Tyron Park Wedding

So there I was, sitting at the Sunday breakfast table, reading the New York Times, and pondering my first post of the week, and bam! I flipped to the "Vows" column and the subtitle was "When it comes to planning a wedding in just three weeks in Fort Tyron Park, who do you call? Yourselves." Ah-ha! I thought to myself, a practical wedding, and in one of my favorite places.Meighan and Seth met working for The One Campaign, the antipoverty group founded by Bono. She was Christian, he was Jewish, they were co-workers, and yet, they couldn't stop themselves from falling in love. He proposed in Buenos Areas, and two years later, with their hectic work schedules, they still hadn't planned a wedding. So they made some phone calls, and suddenly they had a wedding date in just three weeks at the New Leaf Cafe in that oasis in Manhattan, Fort Tyron Park. (Which goes to show you, you can slack from now till three weeks before your wedding date!) And to be honest, this paragraph made me tear up:

The sky over the Hudson threatened to drench the bride’s Jenny Yoo gown — but held off for the couple, who, under a bower of lindens, melded Christian and Jewish traditions. Mr. Hickson, their officiant, welcomed the couple to the “room that God has created for you.” Then, as a blaze of orange broke through the cloud cover, a handful of guests erected a simple wedding canopy over the couple. Standing beneath it with his bride, the air crackled with the sound of Mr. Amgott stamping on a glass.

The pictures of this wedding are so lovely! Read all about it here.

Non Floral Wedding Bouquets

Phew. Well, I think this hotness proves once and for all that you don't have to carry flowers.
And then there is this adorable pregnant bride rocking the feather bouquet (with feathers on her shoes!)

Happy Weekend!

Photos via Red Heart Photo and Stephanie James Couture.

Imperfict Weddings II

So, it seems that we all needed to hear that our weddings don't need to strive for perfection! The post I wrote last week was written mostly to remind myself that the standard being set for weddings is insane and unrealistic, and I needed to chill out, and let the pieces fall where they may. Whew! Well, talk about a big response. My inbox was flooded with "Mmmhummm! Preach it!" emails, along with the "Oh my god, I needed to hear that" emails. And then, everywhere I looked the post kept popping up again. Which is all well and good. If the only thing anyone remembered from this little blog was me saying "If you still believe in perfection, you are too young to get married," then I would be happy.

Since I started thinking of the delightful imperfection of both weddings and marriages, I've stumbled on some quotes on the subject that I loved. Lest we forget:

"Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished." - Goethe

"Nearly all marriages, even happy ones, are mistakes: in the sense that almost certainly (in a more perfect world, or even with a little more care in this very imperfect one) both partners might have found more suitable mates. But the real soulmate is the one you are actually married to." – J.R.R. Tolkien
And finally, the quote that would make the most excellent wedding reading, from Ms. Peonies:

"Ring the bells that still can ring

Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in"
- Leonard Cohen

Pictures from Marie Labbancz (thanks Kathryn)

Why I'm A Practical Bride Contest

I'm excited to announce our very first contest! Who-hoo! Now, do you think I'm giving something away, and all you have to do is leave a comment and get picked? Of course not. Over here at chez practical we value wit more then that. So, Modern Bride has introduced a new ad campaign, "I’m a Modern Bride because..." I've included the only adorable ad above. As for the rest, well, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all, right? Except, really? You’re a modern bride because your wedding lasted four days? FOUR DAYS? That is a lot of inconvenience and forced merriment on the part of your guests. When I was small my mother used to tell me that if Christmas was every day, it wouldn't be fun anymore. The same can be said of weddings.

Which brings me to the contest. Why are you a Practical Bride (or groom)? Leave your answer in the comments. I have two prizes! A copy of One Perfect Day: The Selling of the American Wedding for the wittiest answer, and a copy of Miss Manners On {Painfully Proper} Weddings goes to the writer of the wisest answer. Oh yes, and (internet) fame and glory. That goes to both winners. Go for something that will make us laugh, or will make us nod our heads, and murmur "true, true."

Let's see what Team Practical can come up with. I'm expecting big things. (Also, you absolutely do not have to be engaged to enter, just a clever writer.)

And… GO! Comments are open for exactly one week (and you can enter as many times as you want)

Kathryn & Hugo's Jewish and Mexican At Home Wedding

This lovely and simple at home wedding was sent to me by the fabulous bay area photographer Loren Weltsch. I think this wedding is a great example of how the wedding ceremony and celebration itself have a beauty that shines through when you strip it down to it's elegant essence. Here are the details Loren sent:
This wedding took place at the brides parent’s home in Saratoga, California. The entire celebration was a wonderful example of two cultures coming together - the bride is Jewish and the groom is from Mexico.
The ceremony took place on the front lawn with a simple chuppah. The two little ringbearers were eager to come down the aisle since they found big lollipops at the end! The bride and groom did not have a wedding party but asked several friends to participate in the ceremony by reading blessings.
The bride wore a simple lace dress and her wedding ring is a family heirloom from her grandfather. She had friends help do her hair and make-up.
Guests enjoyed traditional Jewish dancing as well as music from a mariachi band. Once the sun went down the backyard was lit up with strings of white lights and paper lanterns.

There are so many things I love about this wedding: the simple lace dress, the family ring, the merging of two cultures (which is something we are carefully considering during our wedding planning), and more then anything the pure joy on the brides face as she is being lifted up for the chair dance. A big thank you to Loren for sharing this wedding with us.

Jessamyn Harris - Adorable Same Sex Weddings!

Have you been checking out Jessamyn Harris' adorable gay weddings? If you haven't you totally should be.

The Slavery Of Choice

This weekend I learned a new phrase, one I'd somehow missed in my 28 years of being on this earth: "The best is the enemy of the good." It's a Voltaire quote, that means, roughly, that good is sometimes good enough, and that our endless quest for perfection sometimes ends with us sacrificing good options while we look for the elusive 'best' option.

Whew. So is there a phrase that pertains to wedding planning more then this? As the cultural pressure mounts for us to have perfect weddings, I keep seeing brides (and sometimes myself) freezing like deer caught in the headlights. How can we make a decision on a florist until we have researched every possible floral designer working in our area, and found the one who's style and vision best meshes with ours? How can we pick a photographer when the ideal photographer might be just around the corner, or just out of our price range, who will perfectly memorialize our wedding day for all time? How can we select one kind of guest book when we have so many options, each of which might capture our guests sentiments in an original yet emotional way? It's our wedding day, it has to be the best, and it has to be right for us. With so many options and so much pressure how on earth can we choose?

Even practical budget couples can get caught in this trap. The Paradox Of Choice goes a long way towards describing what is going on. This (fascinating) book's argument boils down the idea that the more options we have, the more we are both frozen with indecision and ultimately unhappy with our choice, because we fear we might not have made the best one.

Since I suspect we are all at times caught in this wedding planning trap, we need to identify it, take a deep breath, and realize that the best is indeed the enemy of the good. If we wait and wait to pick a wedding vendor because we're not sure if the ones we have found are quite right, all of the good vendors might end up booked before we bite the bullet. If we immobilize ourselves when trying to make even simple wedding choices, we may well sacrifice enjoying our wedding planning for the quest to find 'the best' choices.

Every wedding choice we have made so far has been made like this:

1. We did a lot of research to find out what the options were in our price range.
2. We went out talked to people and looked at the choices first hand.
3. We found something we really liked a lot. (When I walked into our venue, I looked around and said "this is for me", and walked right in to the office to inquire about availability.)
   
4. We obsessed about if the choice should really be this easy, if we should do a little more research, if we were going to miss something great by just going with our gut.
5. We signed the contract.
6. We felt relieved and happy.

I can't tell you yet how this is all going to turn out on our wedding day, but I can tell you that we are probably going to have all our major contracts signed a full year before we get married. Which should give us a lot of time to chill out, and fuss around with the enjoyable details.

How have you wrestled with the wedding decision making process?

Picture: This is toooo many cakes to pick from, and this is just a few of thousands of options.

Baby Got Back Awesomeness

If you have been reading this blog for awhile, or know me in the flesh, you probably know of my unshakable love for Baby Got Back (and Justin Timberlake's nonsense, but that's another story). So you will understand the giggle fit that ensued when I watched this elegant and lovely wedding first dance to Sir Mix-a-lot's classic work.

Also, if you know me in real life, you will understand that David and I would not have to work out pre-set choreography to this particular ditty. We've got that sh*t in our souls.

Thanks to Reim for the heads up.

Ginnifer Goodwin, The One 'Celeb' In The Practical Club

I think that our obsession with celebrity weddings are part of what is slowly destroying our weddings and our sanity. Do I even need to qualify this? Can't I just say: Eva Longoria & Tony Parker, and TomKat? Right. Done.

I picked up my new Modern Bride (yes, I now have a subscription, thanks to a hilarious gift from our friends Kory & Beck) and flipped through it to see a page called "Celebs' Favorite Weddings." Of course most 'celebs' interviewed said their favorite wedding was their very own, as it was the most ostentatious they had ever attended. But there in the middle of the page was the adorable Ginnifer Goodwin, who said "At my favorite wedding, the guests sat on lawn chairs, and the bridesmaids wore what they wanted to wear. There was a buffet instead of a sit-down dinner, and we danced under the trees. I had the time of my life." Awwww.... now I love Ms. Goodwin even more!

Of course a few pages later, the new Mrs. Charlie Sheen explained that because she wanted her wedding to feel more like it had taken place in a backyard, she had large potted trees brought inside the expensive estate they rented for their wedding.

And then my head exploded.

Nole & Andrews Budget Garden Wedding

Style Me Pretty posted such a beautiful $13,000 garden wedding this week, that I just had to post some additional images, in case you missed seeing it. I never cease to be inspired by the thrifty and creative choices that couples planning weddings on tight budgets make. So often they end up making more interesting choices then you see in the average big budget wedding. Necessity is indeed the mother of invention.
A homemade table runner, which is our plan as well.
The bride had a stunning bouquet of lilacs, and wore a used designer dress from Preownedweddingdresses. The great thing about used wedding dresses? It's not like its been worn more then once!
A cake buffet! The practical alternative to the overpriced wedding cake dilemma.
Also, Style Me Pretty has launched a site re-design, and it now has a budget beautiful wedding section, along with a Do-It-Yourself Inspired wedding section. Go browse, it's awesome.

All pictures by Puma Bean Photography via Nole's Knot Bio.

Mission Accomplished

A few reasons why you practical wedding readers (or "Team Practical" as I call you in my head) are awesome:

1. You just are, obviously. You leave the best comments, and send me the most supportive emails. You're positive and helpful, and give such constructive tips and feedback. Half the time the comments here are better then my posts.
2. Thus far you've raised $135 for Dianne & Chuck's $10,000 wedding in reverse. Can we make it $200? Lets see!
3. You brought The Engaged Guy out of his slumber. I told you, peer pressure works. Check out his post on the subject here.* And please disregard him calling me famous (it made me blush).

Go, go, Team Practical!

*Ohdearjesus. While you are over there, please listen to the podcast of the post. The auto voice reading the post is so awful-hilarious, it made me actually cry a little bit from the laughing. Perhaps we should start the podcast nonsense here?

Light Up The Night - A $10,000 Wedding In Reverse

I thought we'd end the week on a sweet note. This wedding is the perfect antidote for feeling burned out by all of the spend, spend, spend associated with the modern wedding. Dianne and Chuck met online, and had only been dating a few months when she was diagnosed with stage IV lymphoma. When she told Chuck that it he should run away he told her "When God gives you a gift, you don't give it back," and proposed to her at her hospital bedside.

Which brings us to the upcoming nuptials. The couple is getting married in their backyard, and the next night they are asking all of their wedding guests to walk with them at the Leukemia and Lymphoma society's annual Light the Night Walk. Their goal is to raise $10,000 for blood cancer research with their wedding, instead of spending $10,000 on their wedding.

In the midst of the intense narcissism that sometimes surrounds weddings, this story is so refreshing, and touching. It reminds us to be careful and thoughtful about how we spend our wedding dollars, because the money we spend on our wedding is very real money that we should be using to make a small difference in the world, whether that is supporting vendors we like and trust, or starting our marriage with this kind of profound tzedakah. You can give a donation to Dianne and Chuck's goal, here, if you feel so moved (remember teeny tiny donations help too). Think of it as a small rebellion against the madness of the wedding industry.

Best of luck to Dianne and Chuck! They have promised to update us after the wedding, and I for one am rooting for them.

Photo via Apaoli's Flickr stream

My New Style Board

I'm always a little shy about posting my inspiration boards, because I just make boards for myself, not lovely works of art like Abby and Kathryn. But, I created this new board for our wedding, to give people a idea of our ideas for our jewel toned, vintage-y, laid back, joyful wedding day. This board had a little more pink then we want to use, but it gives the vibrant feeling we are going for. You can see my first board here, which contains lots of elements we are still planning on using.

Your Mission (Should You Choose To Accept It)

Ok, so we've talked before about the pathetic status of grooms at weddings. They are supposed to show up, shut up, and pay up, as far as I can tell. And most things on the internet written for (or even by) grooms reads like it's written for barely literate frat boys* - people I don't even want to have a drink with, let alone spend the rest of my life around. Because seriously, if your groom only cares about bachelor parties, lingerie, cigars, honeymoons, and drinking, you need to leave him by the side of the road. Now.

So into this black hole of groom nothingness, steps The Engaged Guy. He's the blogger my fiancé would be, if my fiancé blogged about weddings (well, except for the skinny ties thing. David wants you to know that he holds no truck with skinny ties). He's hilarious, he's smart, his fiancé and wedding sound amazing, and he's a professional writer. I know you've heard about this blog before, but I have been to his site, and there are almost no comments. So, you clever and funny Practical Wedding readers, hie yourself to The Engaged Guy, and pepper him with your comments. Perhaps we can peer-pressure him into posting more often? Peer pressure is awesome.

*I recently learned that the term "frat" is offensive to some people. If this is true for you, my apologies. Please substitute the term "fraternal brotherhood."

Brooke & Tim's Musical Summer Camp Wedding

I've been in love with this beautiful carefree summer camp wedding for a few weeks, and I'm excited to finally get to share it with you. Summer camp and other more rural wedding locations are practical in some areas, and not so practical in others. We made some calls to rural venues, and a woman told me "Our rental fee is reasonable. But, please keep in mind that you'll need to rent all your own generators, rent toilets, set up lighting, bring in water, rent shuttles, and pave the roads leading to the the site." Or whatever. And I thought, "Lady, you lost me at generators."

But this wedding, ohhh, this wedding. Shot by the wizards at Belathee Photography, it took place at Camp Collins in Gresham, Oregon. It's rustic, it's casual, its sassy, it's hip. I'm in love. All you couples who live in areas with practical summer camps, run with this!
Sassy wedding guests always seem to make a wedding. Good thing we have awesome friends!

I love big groom shots at weddings, and this shot is really great. Everyone looks like they are having so much fun. It looks, well, like summer camp. We are definitely doing a group shot, and we are thinking of setting up a little photography backdrop like this one.
There was lots and lots of music at this wedding. I used to go to world music and dance camps in the Redwoods in California... or magical musical hippy festivals, if you want a translation. The vibe of this wedding reminds me of dance camp, and makes me want to run away to the redwoods to get my bellydance on right NOW! (Note to self: get some kick *ss musicians to party at our wedding.)

What makes the wedding for me is this picture of the bride and groom. We all know I'm pretty picky in the wedding dress department, but this fits the bill. Simple, lovely, and pre-rumpled so you can party, party, party!

Belathee Photography shoots in New York, Seattle, and San Francisco. My kind of girls!